Just got an "inspirational message" from the woman who owns the site where I do my chocolate writing. One of the editor/writers there just moved on to greener pastures. She makes more from her freelance writing in a month than I've ever made in a year of doing pretty much anything.
It's not the money. I like being broke. It's very freeing. It's the one thing no one can take away from me.
No, what sinks me is the fact that what I'm doing now with SHM is the first job I've ever had that a high school student couldn't do just as well as I could, if not better. I've worked behind the counter and I've nannied and I've done back-breaking, heart-breaking work with multiply-handicapped children. That's it. That's pretty pathetic, when you think about how I used to ace those IQ tests.
As hard as I try to remind myself that the world's idea of success has never been my own, still sometimes it's hard not to feel like a loser.
But then I think about the freedoms I have, and the traps I haven't let myself fall into, be they material or spiritual. And I realize that I'm not failing; I'm refusing to succeed on anyone's terms but my own.
And looking at where it's led me, I think that's not such a bad philosophy after all.
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5 comments:
I know exactly what you mean! I've never been paid well, doing the various jobs I"ve had, but I've also not had to sacrifice my ideals as a mother. We've never really had a lot, but we've always gotten by. I'd rather get by, and still homeschool my kids, than to be rich and have them in school. Keep up the great work. I wanna be just like you when I grow up!
Christine
Las Vegas
Bravo!
To thine ownself, be true...
I can so relate!
I received my second issue last week and loved it so much that I wrote a review of it on my blog. Thank you for publishing a wonderful magazine.
OH you and I could be long lost twins!! I aced those IQ tests, and heck, I am just a few units shy of a BS, and the best "job" I ever had was as an office manager!!
I was saving my brains for my kids (to eat ;0) ) umm, I mean, to homeschool them, LOL!! I don't ever measure my worth from my paying gigs, cause being a mom outshines all of those.
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